Imagine waking up every morning with a smile on your face because you’re content and thrilled about the many possibilities this day holds. Sounds like a dream, right? What if I said it wasn’t that illusive after all to find enduring happiness? Welcome to a really exciting world of science: happiness science, where researchers uncover secrets about life well-lived.
In this chasing world for success and prosperity, we most often miss the real things which bring joy to life. This book goes deep down to the core of happiness concerning recent scientific breakthroughs or age-old wisdom to answer one question: What really makes us happy?
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Happiness Equation: More Than a Smile
Before we dive into the weeds, let’s define what we mean when we’re talking about happiness. It doesn’t mean this ephemeral good feeling or forcing this perpetual grin all over your face all the time, as psychologists define it: a mix of life satisfaction, positive emotions, and a sense of purpose.
According to Dr. Martin Seligman, father of Positive Psychology, well-being consists of these five elements: PERMA:
Positive emotions
Engagement
Relationships
- Meaning
- Accomplishment
Keeping all this framework in mind let us move ahead and discuss the key contributors which help make us happy.
1. The Power of Positive Relationships: Our Social Happiness Fuel
Building Your Happiness Network
Probably, one of the most solid findings about research in happiness is social relationships. If you thought that happiness was solely an individual business, think again. Indeed, the very famous Harvard study, started almost 80 years ago, showed good relationships far and away to be the single most important factor in happiness and health across the life span.
It’s not about how big your social circle is. But with relationships, it’s quality, not quantity, that counts. “It’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you’re in a committed relationship,” says Dr. Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study on Adult Development. “It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.”
The Ripples from Bliss
This thus can easily spread from one person to another since it seems contagious. Happiness too, according to the same study by BMJ, flows through a social network and even reaches friends of friends or family members. If you focus on your own happiness, you will do more good to yourself at the same time creating a ripple effect in terms of happiness within the community at large.
Action tip: Be intentional with your strong ties. Put time with close friends and family on the calendar, show up to be a good listener, and express gratitude to others.
2. Flow: The Happiness of Becoming Fully Engaged
Zen in the Zone
Have you ever done anything so thoroughly that hours just flew by? This is what psychologists call “flow,” one component of happiness. Flow, said one of the first people to use the term, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter.”
Dominated by clear goals, immediate feedback about how well performance is going, balance between perceived challenges and skills.
Sense of control
Loss of self-consciousness
Change in time perception
Flow in Daily Life
One usually associates flow with sport-based or creativity-based activities, but the truth is that it can occur in the process of carrying out a wide array of everyday activities, be it while one is cooking or gardening, or when faced with an extremely difficult problem at work. What does seem essential for this phenomenon to occur is that, during the activity, there have to be tasks challenging enough to sustain the interest of the subject but not overwhelmed.
Action tip: Try to engage in some activity that is likely to get you in flow, and do it for a while, regularly in your life. Observe when you are most fully engaged in the activities and then try to replicate the conditions in all areas of your life.
3. The Pursuit of Meaning: More than Pleasure
The Eudaimonic Approach to Happiness
While most definitely one of them, pleasure is but only one element of happiness. At the same time, research does show that a life worth living—one that is meaningful and full of purpose—does lead to more profound and lasting satisfaction. This notion, as far back as the philosophy of ancient Greece, has come to be known as eudaimonia and documented by modern psychological studies.
As the psychiatrist and survivor of the concentration camps Viktor Frankl famously wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” Indeed, it was due to this very experience that he came to develop logotherapy as a type of existential analysis concerned with the question of life’s meaning.
Finding Your Meaning
Well, then how is meaning to be found? No, it doesn’t require some big act or deed that would change the world. Meaning will be found in contributing to something greater than the self, in personal growth, improvement of self, helping others, and following passions and creating.
Connected to nature or a higher power Action tip: Take a few minutes to reflect on what gives your life meaning. You may want to jot down what you believe is important to you, what you think is important, and how you could in some small way leave the earth a bit better because you were here.
4. The Gratitude Attitude: Appreciating What You Have
The Science of Thankfulness
So much of the time, in this very pursuit of happiness, we focus on what we don’t have and not what we do. Well, it is gratitude that research says can raise our sense of well-being. According to a study by Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough, “those keeping gratitude journals reported higher levels of positive emotions, bigger life satisfaction, and even physical health.”
Re-wiring the Brain for Good
Gratitude changes the key from what’s wrong with the world to what’s right. That is the subtle shift that makes all the difference in general well-being. According to neuroscientists, practices of gratitude actually alter the wiring of the brain, which then makes us more sensitive to further experiences of gratitude.
Action tip: Count your blessings every day. Write down three things you are thankful for, no matter how inconsequential it may seem to be. Do your best to be as detailed as possible as much as possible and really feel the good emotions behind those items.
5. The Body–Mind Connection: Physical Well-being and Happiness
Exercise Nature’s Mood Booster
We all know exercise is good for the body, but it’s also a pretty powerful mood-booster. Indeed, it is as efficient in the treatment of mild to moderate depression as medication is. The “runner’s high” isn’t actually a myth; exercise releases endorphins, our body’s naturally inducing, feel-good chemicals.
The Sleep-Happiness Link
Yet, little do we know that in these hectic life routines of ours, we do sacrifice our sleeping schedules for many things. In truth, getting enough quality shut-eye really does matter greatly for happiness, research shows. Another example is one study from the University of Michigan, which points out an additional hour of sleep every night that could make the average person happier than getting a $60,000 raise.
Action tip: Do at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise on most days of the week, and log 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Your body and mind will thank you for it.
6. Mindfulness and Meditation: How to Train Your Brain for Happiness
The Present Moment: Where Happiness Lives
Our fast-moving world makes it very easy to get caught up in thoughts of the past or worries about the future. Mindfulness—being fully present and engaged in the moment—may very well be a quite strong antidote for this tendency, and key to nailing down the lockdown on happiness.
Meditation: Not Just for Monks
It has been shown in numerous studies that meditation exudes a positive effect on mental health and well-being. For example, the Journal of Positive Psychology has this meta-analysis that finds the apparent trend of the increase in subjective well-being following mindfulness-based interventions that are base-lined and controlled.
Action point: Begin with 5 minutes a day of mindfulness meditation, focusing on breath and from time to time allowing your attention to softly return. There are some wonderful free apps and online resources that will get you started.
7. The Paradox of Choice: Simplifying for Satisfaction
When Less is More
The more choice, the more freedom, the more freedom, the greater the happiness, we tend to think; but too much choice caused anxiety, indecision, and disappointment in consumer driven society—so a psychologist by the name of Barry Schwartz argued in a book, “The Paradox of Choice.”
Freedom Through Constraints
Paradoxically, constraints sometimes can make us happier. Maybe that is cleaning out your house, bringing the priorities back down to a short list, or choosing to be satisfied with “good enough” and not the very best on everything.
Action tip: Think about places in your life where you have too many choices. Introduce some constraints or rules for making decisions which will simplify your life in this respect.
Sorting Fact from Fable in Happiness Research
Now, as we delve deep into what really makes us happy, let’s first separate fact from fiction about some common myths:
- More money means more happiness
Reality: Of course, money is important, but once basic needs are satisfied—research suggests above $75,000 per annum in the US—additional income does very little to improve everyday happiness.
- You should always feel happy
Long setTitleColor: There’s a reason for those feelings of negativity, and they are part of everyday life. Real happiness includes letting the feeling be and learning from those emotions.
- Myth: Happiness is a destination
Reality: Happiness is more of a journey or practice than a fixed state to achieve.
- Myth: Circumstances control your happiness
Reality: Much of our happiness is right at hand—the work of our thoughts and deeds.##
The Happiness Toolkit: Everyday Shortcuts for Today
- Acts of kindness
- Spend on experiences, not things
- Growth mindset
- Meaningful goals: Setting + following
- Forgive others – yourself
- Social media consumption and digital detox
- Spending time with Nature
- Reaching towards savoring positive experiences
Conclusion: Your Happiness Journey Starts Today
It is in the science of happiness that we can genuinely be happy for us all. See, it doesn’t revolve around fleeting enjoyments or hitting Middle Life milestones; it’s more cultivation of positive habits and nurture of relations that find meaning and relish present moments.
Joy isn’t some one-size-fits-all deal. What works for A definitely won’t work for B. What is needed are experiments, trying things out in your life, so you shall know really clearly what worked best for you. Pick a few of those strategies we shared and get started on the journey to full and vibrant living.
Now, turning to you, fellow reader, what is that one thing if done now that will let you be a little happy? After all, as Confucius says, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”—so why not make that step now?
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